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Writer's pictureAnna Parks

Finding a Stylist That's Right For You

I'm sure that almost everyone has had some sort of uncomfortable encounter with a hairdresser. Whether it be their attitude, cutting style, or just their overall vibe.. sometimes something just isn't right and it leads to a bad or simply just less than great experience. You'll more than likely go through a few different stylists before finding one you truly click with. Some of you already get it. You understand the benefits of having a go-to. For those who don't quite understand why it's important, hopefully this little article will provide some food for thought when it comes to the importance of finding a hairdresser. I'm going to give you some things to consider when searching for your new stylist.



Identify Your Wants and Needs


Your relationship with your hairstylist may be more important than you realize. Like any relationship, you never know how it will develop, but it can be helpful to have some expectations and boundaries set ahead of time. What does your ideal stylist look like? Do you prefer minimal talking and a quick cut every two weeks? Would you like a hairapist that you're comfortable pouring your heart out to every month? Are you looking for a friend behind the chair? Someone who you feel confident will let you know if your ideas won't look good? Or someone who will bite their tongue and give you whatever hairstyle you came prepared to get? It's natural for people to have general ideas of what they want in a friend or a partner.. do the same with your stylist! It may take a cut or two to figure out if you work well together, but that's ok! No shame in dating around to find what you're looking for!


Do Your Research!


Sometimes blind luck takes place, but it never hurts to do a little planning. Ask for recommendations from people you trust. If you're new to an area, search for some keywords and go from there. Check out the reviews. Find the stylist's instagram. Browse their website. Look for work that is similar to what you're looking for. The internet can be a beautiful thing! Researching a stylist can't necessarily let you know if they'll be a good fit, but at the very least it will help ensure that they can accomplish your hair goals. Everyone views people differently and ultimately you'll have to see for yourself, but generally if someone has a lot of positive reviews that highlight aspects of their personality, I'd say that's a pretty good sign that they'll be cool.


Trust your gut!


First impressions are everything, and I'm a firm believer in trusting your gut. Take inventory of how you felt when you walked into the room. Pay attention to your natural responses to this new environment. Did they greet you in a way that made you feel welcome? Did their initial approach make you uneasy? If you're like myself and struggle with a bit of social anxiety, I understand it can sometimes be tough to recognize some of these feelings and be able to trust them. Hopefully you've learned some coping mechanisms along the way that can help you through those situations, but we both know that initial feeling of nervousness will still be present..and thats ok! Your anxiety is a part of who you are, and although it's good to challenge yourself at times, it's important to be realistic and factor that in when making decisions, especially in relationships. Could you see yourself starting to break down your barriers in this environment over time? Do you feel like this person could be patient with you throughout that process? Could you see yourself feeling comfortable here? I know this seems like a lot to ask yourself when you've only just walked through the door, but again I'm just talking first impressions. Questions like these are great to reflect on throughout and after the service as well, but for now just really focus in on that initial gut feeling you get when you first enter the studio. In simple terms...vibe check??


Your Comfort Comes First!


Extending upon the previous point, as time passes and you get to know your new stylist a little better.. how do they make you feel? Do you feel like they're respectful? Are they understanding and accepting of your identity? Is it a safe space to be queer? Are you comfortable disclosing that you're transgender without fear of their reaction? Do you share political views? Do you feel confident in asking for the type of haircut you're looking for even if it appears more masculine or more feminine than you present? Is the space heavily gendered and making you feel awkward? Most people get their hair cut on a fairly regular basis. This should be a positive experience! You want to leave looking good and feeling good. It doesn't have to be like going to the dentist.. you don't have to feel like a big ball of anxiety every time you book an appointment. It's SO important to be comfortable! Not to make it weird, but getting a haircut is a fairly intimate experience. There is physical touch involved, a fair amount of time spent together, and they are altering your appearance. You want someone you can feel comfortable around. You want someone that you feel safe with and that you can trust. Most people can give a decent haircut, but your comfort level is the most important and not everyone will fit the bill.


Don't Settle!


It's amazing how many times I've heard people say that they reluctantly stuck with a stylist. Maybe it was your old family hairdresser or maybe it's a friend who recently graduated cosmetology school.. maybe you're just afraid your hair sucks and there's nothing else out there for you. Wrong! There is someone out there for everybody! There is no lack of hairstylists in this world, you've just got to have the courage to put yourself out there. In some situations it may be a little awkward switching stylists, but in the end you have to do what's best for you. Your hair is a HUGE part of your identity and even if you feel like you have a generally "basic" haircut, it's important that you feel like you're looking your best. Not only that, but if you're not getting along with your stylist or you don't have the same views.. what's the point? You're spending up to an hour, sometimes more with this person.. that's a decent chunk of time to spend with someone you don't like or aren't happy with. Is your current stylist someone that you're happy to be supporting? Or are you with them because you feel like you should be or you don't want to put the effort in to finding someone else? Life is too short to settle! Every relationship is precious!


This post may seem silly to some, but I'm hoping that it was able to bring at least a little insight to someone who may have needed it. Maybe you don't label yourself as someone who is "serious" about your hair, but maybe that's because you haven't yet had that awesome haircut that changes your mind. Maybe you don't really care about the way you interact with your stylist, but maybe that's because you've yet to make a real connection with one. Getting your hair cut isn't just a monthly chore or something you HAVE to do. It should be an enjoyable and positive experience that you look forward to. It's self-care! The goal is to find someone who you're confident can help you look good and feel good throughout your service and when you leave. Keep these tips in mind, put yourself out there, and you will know when you've found the right one!











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